Note to my(future)self

 Hi

I finally made a comeback after a long time.

I intentionally wrote this one as a personal reminder, most importantly my future-self who might gonna read this post in the future (maybe).

Well, the beginning of 2022 has been pretty rough. It was definitely not very sweet nor warm. At first, I enjoyed the first two weeks of 2022 with new hope, of course with my very optimistic personality. Well, I no longer make a specific yearly resolution tho. Instead, I make many adjustments to my so-called "to-do lists"  because, in this other intersection of my life, many things are unpredictable. Well, life is full of surprised, isn't it? 

Although I finally decided not to make a specific goal, I always embrace myself with a positive attitude, that I need to be a better version of myself every day. I have to move, I gotta move.

Well, by the third week of early 2022, my physical condition was not great which made me lay on the bed for most of my time. My body was very weak, my heart was beating like crazy every minute, resulting in my bad sleep quality. Of course, I couldn't go for a run, cycling and other exercises which I normally do to release my stress. 

One of the main reasons for this is, that I stopped my thyroid medication for 2 weeks before my irradiation treatment. Actually, I am so happy to finally got my hyperthyroid treated to the next level. Because the Doctor said the medicines were not as that effective as before. Therefore, I need an ablation, either by radiation therapy or surgery. The doctor strongly suggested radiation therapy since it was less harmful and left no scar. One of the procedures before the irradiation treatment, I need to stop consuming the thyroid medicine (Methimazole) for at least a week, although in my case it was two weeks because of the iodine-131 stock, which is the radioactive substance to destroy my damaged thyroid gland, was insufficient.  As result, my thyroid hormones spiked up, making my hyperthyroid condition worsen. 

Alhamdulillah, it didn't last long. It took me around 4 weeks to finally get my strength back. I started to run, cycle, although I still need to monitor my heart rate. My resting heart rate (RHR) was over 100 before which was really disturbing me because every night I woke up, tired, and breathless.  And now, it goes down to the range of 60-70 beats per minute, which is a very good improvement. 

I am beyond grateful for all of this journey. 

I am turning 29 very soon. I experienced many ups and downs.

Some people might think I am lonely because they see me walking through this path alone. 

As a grown-up woman with no companion and someone to rely on.

Just because I am still single. 

Lol, it's just funny how people pity me when all of those are my choices. 

Well, in fact, it's not completely true. I have a very strong foundation, very positive energy within me, an extremely valuable treasure I could have ever asked for, my family, my strong support system.

I am happy and content.

Alhamdulillah

Lastly,

I want to say to you (me in the future)

Thank you for living your life

Thank you for being this strong 

Thank you for never giving up