Tie the knot

So today after washing my brain with a big cup of a combination between chocolate and coffee, I got some inspiration to write tonight. A few hours ago my friend texting me, she told me that someone whom I know in college (Hmmm, it’s hard to say that we’re friend since I only know him, but literary I have never interacted with him) is planning on getting married. Actually, it was surprising me a bit since I know that he hasn’t even graduated from his bachelor program. I mean, we’re entering the university in the same year, which is mean if we haven’t graduated, we are still struggling with a final assignment to fulfill the requirement to finish undergraduate program. This not inappropriate,  and I think this is not a big deal. But I thought he’s busy enough to prepare both at the same time.

Yeah, but I have to admit… huuum I wanna give him a big applause, because instead of asking for dating he brave to ask a girl to marry. Oh dear, where could you find this rare typically man somewhere else, where the world is more common with an illegal relationship (you know, like steady which is has no real proof or authentically accepted document to show their legal information about their relationship).

*Ehhheem (cough for real), sorry for bringing you to the topic that might be a little bit heavy*

Talking about marriage now, in my age (oke, I am 17 years old guys >_<  it was six years ago) wasn’t something unfrequently happened. I mean, I have been old enough to talk about this even though my mentally hasn’t ready to talk about mine. Almost half of my elementary school mates (girl particularly) were married. My mother also had married at a very young age (I think), when she was 20. In addition, my Grandmother had married when she was about 15 (OMG, when I was 15 I was a very young girl who just entered high school >_<)

Remember back then, when the girls and boys were forced to marry at a very young age. This story has been written in history books, where there were a lot of story about young marriage, especially in the history of a kingdom (even though it was clearly can be seen that marriage at that time was purposed for a throne).

Compared to the previous generation, tendency of age-marriage has changed. The older generations before us were getting married when they're teenagers. In contrast, normally this generation was getting married after 20 or even in the early 30. There some reasons why this phenomena was happening, such as career, pursue their dream, happiness, and strong will to 'I have to finish what I want to do before making a family,' and so on.

Married at a young age can be a really good thing. Since my mother married when she was 20, I know as a daughter, I can be really close to my mother. Even sometimes she acts like my friend instead of only mother, because she still young enough. That’s one of the good points over hundred other good things about having a young mother. However, there also some uncomfortable thing happened. Like the first time my mother became a mother, she still awkward for having a baby at such a young age (maybe it’s kind a baby blue syndrome, commonly happened to the new mom), moreover in public place. She even ever told me that when I was calling my mother in a public place, before she approached, she would do a double check to make sure no one watching her (Oh my…… why you so clumsy >_<). 

Marry when you are ready

The word ‘ready’ here has a lot of different perspectives. Someone can easily say ready anytime, but the others may need time to think about it. Everybody has their own standard, parameter and any other things related to measuring how ready you are. One of my friend said ‘marriage isn’t easy’ yet she hasn’t married (I think she’s still preparing for it, so that she said that it wasn’t easy).

Meanwhile, one of my friends who has married last year said to me few days before the D-day ‘Actually, I haven't been ready. But yeah, you know, you’ll never be ready until you marry’

So, are you ready or not? The answer all depends on you. You’re the one who will go through your marriage life story, so you are the one who knows your own answer, aren’t you?

Okay to sum this up, I will show you some of the tips (which I got from expert I found in the blog) the sign whether you have been ready or haven’t (ps. Because I haven’t married yet so I can’t give you tips or clue about it.)

Signs that you’re ready (www.Mindbodygreen.com )

1. You understand the difference between real love and infatuation.

2. You're ready to grieve the end of being single.

3. You understand that it's not your partner's job to fulfill you, complete you, rescue you, or make you feel alive.

4. You have a healthy way of handling conflict.

5. You are aligned in terms of core values.

Signs that you’re not ready (www.Cheatsheet.com)

1. You’re selfish

2. You have an unresolved past

3. You like playing the field

4. You’re hiding a secret

5. You have doubts

 

So, what’s your plan now? Are you ready or not? You must know your priority, right?

“Among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility with them and He put love and mercy between your (hearts) : verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Quran Ar-Rum [30:21]